That's when you crack a 10am beer
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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