i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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