WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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