Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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