i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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