People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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