i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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