You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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