Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
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I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
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Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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