I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
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THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
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I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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