Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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