Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize