the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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