Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Rumble strips road head = magical
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Randomize
Follow @tfln