I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We need to get me chipped asap
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize