i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
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