There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
A+ Viking dick
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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