Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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