Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize