There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
wow bdsm is so cute
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