just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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