Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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