We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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