Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize