i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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