Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize