trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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