He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
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You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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