At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
This toilet bowl is my home.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize