you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
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She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
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youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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