Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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