I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize