i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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