The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize