I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
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