I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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