Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize