get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize