I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize