Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
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