i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
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Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
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He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I deserve this hangover.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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