pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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