Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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