you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
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