C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize