Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize