I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Randomize