apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize