I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
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I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
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I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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