He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize